spell R E C E S S.
yupp its recess week.
and its alr mid recess wk but my long to-do list which i only just wrote out last night is still short of many ticks..not much of a break..more of catchup and proj and assignment time..only thing that made this wk so much better is that my dear is having a week long leave too!so i get to see im almost everyday this wk!happy happy!(: but dear's been really understanding..asking me to do work too..he's out having fun with classmates now..haha. dear's been sweet..little things he does makes me happy..makes me go awww..wish i can have him forever..sorry if this sounds childish to some..tts wads gg thru my mind..close this window if yu're gonna puke..haha. had two proj meetings beginning of this wk..i intend to run at least once this wk..im seriously growing fat..no joke..my tummy is back..like yucks la. cant stand it..suck in when i walk outside..haha. htne when i sit down..its like WOAH. damn bad.bleah.hope i can get down to doing serious work next 2days..but i highly doubt so as i am confident of my ability to digress and be distracted and to stare at the tv..haha.
ive been dreaming past 2nights..and i dont really like to dream..cos it means im not getting the rest i desperately need!last last night was a bad dream..last night was a better dream..if i am gonna dream today too..i hope it'll be a totally blissful dream(: tho i dunno why the sudden dreaming spree cos the stuff i dream abt arent wad im thinking abt..actually hey, part of them are wad i think abt..my oh my..intrigueing..is that how yu spell it? heh.
oh yea been looking for new blogskin..saw this really nice one but not v me tho i dance..not this kinda dance la..but i think the picture is so beautiful..rather inpiring i think..
nice right? i think so too!(: somehow reminds me of guano and shihan..heh.
oh yea anw i suddenly realise that what i said in my previous entry that's my fault isnt really my fault anymore..its partly my fault but not entirely..i think it could have been avoided if i had the proper guidance i am getting right now..and i so regret not seeking alternatives earlier! im missing out on stuff i wanna do and stuff others get to do!! im pissed..but wad the heck..why am i complaining and whining and crying over spilled milk when obviously there's no turning back now..i just hafta juggle wad i have on my hands now and hope i do it right..and hope that other opportunities come at the right time..right? but i still think..cant help it..sigh. esp last week when i found out SO MANY other ppl whom i thot were not doing the stuff are in fact doing the stuff! oh my i think this is getting confusing for the ppl reading..sorry..haha.
oh btw i totally cant stand the fact that i hafta make rounds in big bookshop until 1901H before i can enter yamaha for my piano lesson..ever since i changed my time slot..i see my ex teacher whom i somehow have difficulty facing altho i dunno why cos it wasnt my fault that im under a different teacher now..i just dunno what to say when if i come face to face with her so i hafta avoid her at all cost.damn.
its the first time in my life i have wondered if im really part of a group ive always thot i belonged to..its the first time i see an invitation and im obviously part of the group mentioned but i act had doubts in my mind if that invitation was for me as well..if im welcome..if i'll get comments which i'll hafta laugh off and feel bad abt inside..if i'll feel outta place..i know i'll look forward to seeing the others..but will they enjoy my company?or will things just go on as if i werent there cos i dunno the recent ongoings and noone will really bother to fill me in..and after thinking abt all these..self-consolations flow into my mind and the final question will always be: am i thinking too much?
im gibberishh.
right dear?=P
ok enuff for one entry..hope the next entry will be accompaniedby a new skin!(:
-i'm at the end of the rainbow
21:43